


Hit Me With Your Best Shot

by Gobayern16



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: 501st Legion - Freeform, Brothers being assholes, Coruscant Guards (Star Wars), Hijinks & Shenanigans, Paintball, Podfic Welcome, Star Wars AU - Soft Wars, Torrent Company, Well-Executed Plans, brothers being brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:07:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28211373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gobayern16/pseuds/Gobayern16
Summary: The Playground is an abandoned and broken down area in the lower levels of Coruscant. Appropriated by the Guard and turned into the ultimate paintball arena, it’s the perfect way to establish who’s the best unit in the GAR.Or:Torrent is on leave on Coruscant. Lt Jesse has a running paintball competition with the Guard. Dogma is recruited to his team; it’s not nearly as awful as he expected.
Relationships: CT-5597 | Jesse & CC-5869 | Stone, Dogma & CC-4477 | Thire, Dogma & CT-5597 | Jesse, Dogma & Hardcase (Star Wars), Hardcase & CT-5597 | Jesse
Comments: 12
Kudos: 88
Collections: Randomness, Soft Wars Fic Exchange





	Hit Me With Your Best Shot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [distractionpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/distractionpie/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Authorized Developments](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24488131) by [Project0506](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/pseuds/Project0506). 



> This story is for Cacti for the Soft Wars Secret Santa. I hope you like it!
> 
> This story is a direct sequel to Project0506’s oneshot [Authorized Developments](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24488131) and will make slightly more sense if you read that first, though it’s not necessary.
> 
> Thank you to Projie for letting me play in her sandbox!
> 
> Thank you to the wonderful CmonCmon for beta-ing!

They spend the ride to The Playground discussing strategy. Or rather, Lt Jesse and Lt Hardcase do. Dogma just listens to them, having never heard of paintball before, and certainly never having played like Lt Jesse and Lt Hardcase have. 

“Other than Commander Thire, I’m not sure which Guard troopers we’ll be facing,” Lt Jesse explains. “But the bastard tried to stall us long enough to give us a ticket for an expired meter. So!” 

Dogma jumps as Lt Jesse swivels to face him, slightly manic gleam in his eyes. “If you nail him, I’ll buy you dinner. Nail him somewhere humiliating and I’ve got a squad slot with your name on it.” (1)

“You can count on me, sir,” Dogma says firmly. The Lt holds his gaze a moment longer before nodding and turning back to Lt Hardcase. They continue laying out several possible battleplans accounting for a variety of Guard troopers, interspersed with comments and tidbits about all the likely ways the Guard will cheat.

“We’re on their turf, Private.” Lt Jesse’s grin is sharp, all teeth as he looks over his shoulder at Dogma. “We’re still going to show them why Torrent is the best.” His excitement is palpable, evident in the set of his shoulders, the glint in his eyes. 

“Oya Torrent!” Lt Hardcase cackles, clearly feeding off of Lt Jesse’s energy. Dogma feels his heart speed up, anticipation prickling under his skin.

“Oya Torrent,” he murmurs, back straightening slightly. Lt Jesse nods sharply, grin firmly in place as he turns back around.

The landing pad they pull up to looks just like all the others on this level, grimy and shabby with trash littering the ground, illuminated by the glow of nearby advertisements. A second speeder is already parked next to the main entrance into the building.

Dogma eyes the flickering sign proclaiming this as The Playground with some trepidation. He trusts Lt Jesse, but he’s still as Torrent as they come. Whatever comes next is guaranteed to be wild. But Dogma’s not about to back down from a challenge so he squares his shoulders and follows Lt Jesse and Lt Hardcase into the building.

The inside is not at all what Dogma expects. Well-lit and clean, the disparity to the run-down outside is almost jarring. The small entrance room has a counter manned by a young Devaronian who greets them with a smile and waves them to the far door.

“Head on in. Commander Stone’s already here, but we’re still waiting on Commander Thire.”

Lt Jesse snorts. “I can’t imagine why he’s late,” he drawls.

Lt Hardcase giggles. Honest to Force _giggles._

Dogma just shrugs at the now-confused Devaronian, following his vode into the next room. Chairs fill the room, clearly divided down the middle by a path. There’s a podium near the far wall between two doors. 

“Took you long enough, Torrent.” The speaker, a vod in Guard red, lounges artfully across his chair, one leg over the armrest and chair tilted back. He smirks at them.

“I’m not the one waiting on members of my own team, Commander Stone,” Lt Jesse snarks back, settling down opposite the commander. “Who are we beating today?” He nods at the other three Guard troopers, wicked glee in his voice.

Commander Stone throws him an irritated glance. “These are Jive, Toast, and Sharps. Thire and Trial should be here any moment.”

“This is going to be 3 on 6?” Alarm pitches Dogma’s voice high. He _knows_ Lt Jesse and Lt Hardcase are good, but the Guardsmen are still troopers for all that they’re not on the frontlines.

“What, backing out of the bet _you_ made? Scared you’ll get your shebs handed to you?” Sharps bares his teeth in a wide grin that raises Dogma’s hackles.

“We’re not the ones who need extra men to have a chance at winning,” Lt Hardcase shoots back, eyes narrowed. 

Before the tense atmosphere devolves into something worse, the door opens again, the Devaronian bustling in followed by Commander Thire and Trial.

“Now that everyone’s here, let’s get this started! My name’s Cass Vilnok and I’m your host today.” The Devaronian opens his arms wide. “Rules are the same as always gentlemen. No headshots and you’re out if your armor is fully covered in paint. Team with the least paint on them when time’s up wins.” He gestures to the door to his left. “Guard armory and starting point is through here—” a wave to the door on his right— “and Torrent through here.” He smiles, wide and excited. “We’ve expanded since last time. Good luck!”

“See you on the other side.” Lt Jesse snaps a _kark you kindly_ salute at Commander Stone, smirk firmly in place as he stands and strides towards their door. Dogma hurries after him, slightly annoyed at all the grandstanding and jabs, but he forgets all of that as he crosses the threshold into the next room.

The armory is _actually_ an armory; Dogma thought it was just a euphemism. The Lts are strapping on some sort of gray armor, similar to the white plastoid they usually wear.

“You can leave your armor over there.” Lt Hardcase nods to a cabinet on the far side. “It’s perfectly safe. Vilnok won’t touch it. ‘Sides,” he grins crookedly. “Wouldn’t want to mess up your paint job.”

Dogma frowns, wondering if that last statement is supposed to be a jab at his dodging skills, then shakes himself. _This is a_ **_paintball_ ** _fight,_ he reminds himself. _Lt Hardcase raises a valid concern._ He removes his armor, stacking it neatly. Putting on the new armor is strange. Dogma feels slightly exposed and vulnerable, the armor not as substantial and covering less than their plastoid shells. He snaps the last piece into place and turns back to the others.

Lt Jesse is checking over a rack of sniper rifles, pistols already holstered at his waist, while Lt Hardcase runs his hands over a Z6 rotary cannon. Dogma moves over to the carbines, eyeing the grenades and _is that a thermal detonator?_

“Everything’s filled with paint, but still works like the real thing.” Lt Jesse’s voice snaps Dogma out of his thoughts. His gaze is shrewd but warm. “This is just a friendly competition after all.”

Dogma raises an eyebrow. “Right, sir. Friendly.”

One side of Lt Jesse’s mouth quirks up. “You’ll want a carbine and at least one pistol, extra rounds, and some grenades. Here’s a comm, too.”

Dogma nods, perusing the selection to grab the suggested items. “What’s the plan, sir?”

“There’s a sniper tower on the north side, about 300 meters from our starting point. I’m going to set up there while you and Hardcase rig some… _surprises_ in the nearby buildings.” Lt Jesse grins wildly, feral excitement in his eyes. “And then we’re going to show the Guard why Torrent is the best unit in the GAR.”

🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨

“That was karking awesome!”

Dogma nods at Lt Hardcase’s exuberant shout, smile splitting his face, breathless with exhilaration. The last two hours were incredible, Lt Jesse’s tactics outmaneuvering the Guard at almost every turn. Even the surprises the Guard had rigged beforehand weren’t enough to defeat them. 

Dogma follows Lt Jesse into the Judging Room, standing still so Vilnok can scan his armor and calculate the amount of paint covering him. He’s proud to note he has almost as little red paint as Lt Jesse, even with the latter having been fairly well protected in the sniper’s nest. 

Eyeing the Guard troopers, Dogma is confident in their win. They’re liberally covered in Torrent blue. His smile grows wider when he makes eye contact with Commander Thire, the man glaring at him, paint dripping off his skid plate.

With each scan, the percentage of covered armor is displayed on the holoscreen in front of them. The percentage for Torrent stays gratifyingly low while the Guard is wonderfully high.

“What is this now, 15 Torrent wins?” Dogma can _hear_ the glee in Lt Jesse’s voice, knows he has a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“Yeah, yeah, kark you,” Commander Stone grumbles, exasperated but still fond.

“And?” Lt Jesse presses.

“And we won’t book any of your Torrent shebse this leave cycle,” Commander Stone huffs, clearly aggravated. 

The smugness is practically radiating off Lt Jesse. Dogma himself is only a little better, but he’s still humming with satisfaction. 

“Till the next time we beat you.” Lt Jesse gives a jaunty wave before heading to their armory to change, ignoring the Guards’ cries of outrage. Lt Hardcase and Dogma flank him, both eager to celebrate their win.

Dogma changes back into his armor, dumping the mildly paint-splattered armor into the big bin left out in the middle of the armory, fruitlessly wiping at the glitter on his hands. The result of one of the Guard surprises, Dogma had at least managed to get his hands up in time to protect his face, to keep himself from being blinded. He considers himself lucky no one else was in his vicinity, to take advantage of his momentary vulnerability. 

Lt Hardcase waves to Vilnok as they head to the exit. He rehashes the fight the whole speeder ride to Dex’s Diner. Expecting to head to the barracks, Dogma slants a questioning look at Lt Jesse, who returns it with a gentle smile.

“I promised you dinner if you nailed Thire, didn’t I?”

  
Dogma just nods, clambering out of the speeder.

“Dex has the _best_ food, vod. You’re gonna love it!” Lt Hardcase bounces to the door, yanking it open to reveal a dingy-yet-welcoming interior. They’re directed to a booth, Lt Jesse and Lt Hardcase sliding in on one side and Dogma on the other.

After they’ve all ordered the Daily Special, Lt Jesse pins Dogma with a look, expectant and congratulatory all in one. Dogma unconsciously straightens up.

“Commander Thire was wearing some pretty conspicuous blue that I don’t remember giving him, Private.” 

“Yeah, me neither!” Lt Hardcase chimes in. 

“So, how did _you_ get the good commander?” 

_Getting behind Commander Thire is proving slightly more difficult than expected. The Guard have paired off and the commander is always leading, Jive covering his six. But Dogma is determined to prove himself, to make good on his word to Lt Jesse._

_He’s going to need a two-step attack, Dogma decides. One to lead Commander Thire where he wants him and a second to get him to turn around._

_He glances around the courtyard, eyes skimming over wrecked transports and half-destroyed buildings. A glowing light catches his eye, draws him over to one of the transport._

_Dogma inspects the control panel, plan clicking into place as he realizes the transport has enough power to open and close its doors._

_Commander Thire is going to regret always leading._

_“Lt Jesse, do you have eyes on Commander Thire?” Dogma re-wires the door’s motion sensor as he waits for a reply._

_“He and Jive are 50 meters east of you. They just entered the old bar, are poking around the first floor.”_

_“Let me know when they move.” Trap set, now he just needs to bait it. He checks his carbine, swaps out his near-empty clip for a new one, and heads towards his target._

_Lt Jesse gives him updates and directions in equal measure as the Guard troopers move, leading him to them._

_Finally in sight of the two, Dogma takes a steadying breath, nerves and anticipation sending his pulse riding high. He checks his carbine again, then steps out from cover, firing at Jive and the commander._

_He turns and flees when they return fire, carefully staying just in sight but still out of range. Slowing slightly as he reaches the rigged transport, Dogma checks over his shoulder to ensure Commander Thire is still leading the charge._

_Satisfied he’s still ahead of Jive, Dogma darts into the transport and towards the far exit, crouching down behind a bench seat next to the door. He readies his carbine and waits, blood pounding in his ears, excitement rising._

_Cautious footsteps signal the arrival of his target. Commander Thire enters the transport slowly, pistols up and ready._

_The door slides shut behind him with a screech, separating him from Jive._

_Commander Thire whirls around, startled._

_Rookie mistake, Dogma thinks even as he steps forward, taking careful aim at the commander._

_Commander Thire howls in shock as the paint round explodes against his shebs, staggering forward into the door, Torrent blue splattering all over him._

_Dogma hightails it away from the cursing and snarling commander, satisfaction curling in his gut._

Dogma grins at Lt Jesse and Lt Hardcase, the elation of his success humming through his veins. “Torrent knowhow, sir.”

A smirk creeps onto Lt Jesse’s face as Lt Hardcase breaks out into laughter next to him. Dogma basks in their approval. 

“Well, I remember making you another promise, Private.”

That causes Lt Hardcase to stop laughing and straighten up, glancing between Dogma and Lt Jesse with a slightly confused expression. 

Dogma frowns, casting his mind back over the last few hours, breath catching when he remembers. He locks eyes with Lt Jesse, hope and joy bubbling under his skin. “You mean…?”

  
Lt Jesse smiles, open and honest and _proud._ “Welcome to Crest Squad, kid. You’ve earned it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos greatly appreciated. :)
> 
> ( 1) Lines taken directly from “Authorized Developments” by Project0506
> 
> Jive, Toast, and Trial are clones who have a combined screentime of maybe 5 seconds, and who have been named and adopted by Thell and RogueLadyVader, who were kind enough to let me borrow them. Sharps is a Clone OC belonging to Thell. Cass Vilnok is an OC belonging to Projie and appears in her fic “Civilian Relations”, which I highly recommend reading.
> 
> The kark you kindly salute also appears in Projie’s series Soft Wars, which I highly highly _highly_ recommend reading.
> 
>  **Permissions:** All my works, including this one, can be translated and podficced without first asking my express permission. I ask only that you credit me as the original author and provide a link back to the original work. For anything else, please ask first. Thanks.


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